I’m not sure when I became aware of the first symptom. It was stiffness. I waited for it to go away or to have more of something before I said anything to anyone about it. I was busy. I’m not sure what I was doing, but I know I was very busy. At that point the symptoms (yes, too soon there were more than one) were easy to ignore, which I did for as long as I could. Something else was also wrong with me. If I didn’t take care of that, bad things could happen, not the least of which for me was death. A simple Vitamin B 12 monthly injection took care of that. But that didn’t take care of the original symptom or the symptoms that followed. They got worse. There was no true debate; there was something definitely wrong. There were internal tremors and more stiffness, drooling and one arm that didn’t work as well as the other. I finally went to a specialist. When tests didn’t turn up anything and when symptoms more than multiplied, the brain specialist found a cause. He called it Parkinson’s.
And the disease is still progressing, still causing stress but manageable. No cure is currently available.
I have every reason to be hopeful. I’m glad I can still get around, ride my bicycle and push myself up hills as well as I do. Because I’m of the age I could retire, and also because I’m not satisfied with the work I’ve done, I’ve become somewhat impatient. There are so many things I still want to do and that is very difficult for me. But the greatest miracle for me is that I’m not finished. I know…and the anxiety is real for me…that in the relatively near future I could easily become incapacitated.
I will not try to be inspirational with the story I’m about to write. The journey I shall take will be a personal one. It will come from inside me and from memories, which may or may not be accurate or interest anyone. I hope to discover the truth, though the truth has too often been for me elusive. The truth is that I don’t know where I am going. Therefore it’s hard to say how it will turn out, but maybe for once I won’t be result oriented.
And with some luck and a lot of work I’ll finish it. I’ll post everything. Why not!