Back in Cagayan de Oro, David JR’s parents were clearly disappointed and worried over their son’s decision to drop out of UCLA, but in their own words “they had to let go and let him live his own life.” All along, while they encouraged their boy to go to a school in America, they had reservations about him moving to a huge city such as LA, especially since he grew up in a relatively rural town in a “foreign” country. In this case, it was the United States that was “foreign.” As expected, he would go through a period of shock. With only a layover in the Philippine International Airport in Manila, he flew directly to LAX. David immediately felt lost, but then allowed the excitement of setting foot in a new country to take over and was energized. He managed to get on the right bus, though there was no one there to help him. He followed his instincts and later explained, “I was too afraid, or let’s say proud, to ask for directions. To appear less vulnerable you have to look as if you know exactly where you’re going.” David knew that if he hesitated he would get pounced upon, and that he had now launched upon a great adventure. (Later, he would dismiss his fears as silly.) But now David stood at bus stop with all of his bags sitting beside him. He knew that he would have to get directions at some point and that it would be better to do that at the bus station; he believed that under the circumstances that it would pay him to be as inconspicuous as possible. For someone from an Asian country, he had the advantage of being Caucasian, speaking perfect English, and holding an American passport. He believed he wouldn’t have any trouble and should’ve blended in perfectly. (Actually, he seemed to have had serious doubts; beginning with standing for the first time at a bus stop in LA…there he was actually confronted with a confrontation between the bus driver and a would-be passenger and because of the confrontation having the bus driver drive off without him.) In a letter home he wrote:
Living in Philippines never prepared me for the harshness and rudeness I’ve encountered over here. It was a shock to see people yell at each other over seemly nothing. Such fury exhausts me, and to use an old nautical saying, it took the wind out of sails.
That he by chance experienced this inexplicable display of hostility on his first day in America, before he even left LAX, was to greatly influence how he felt about LA, though he was not directly involved. He saw his first overt act of prejudice. The shouting match, which included a so-called “bum,” was instigated by the driver and before the would-be passenger could climb the steps onto the bus. Instead of the incident ending there, the bus driver slammed the doors of the bus in the face of the so-called “bum,” who then pounded the side of bus with his fist. Since the bus sped off without David, he heard and saw all the cursing and anger that followed. Now he had an indelible impression of LA, and it was his very first one.
David’s initial initiation to LA culminated with him having to wait thirty minutes more for another bus and riding that bus to a central terminal, where he got directions and almost lost his bags. David found his own way to UCLA and to the dorm assigned to him, yet because of the incident at the bus stop he hadn’t gained anymore confidence, partially because he was already feeling a little bit homesick. For some time, he had doubts about whether he had made the right decision about leaving behind his family and boat in the Philippines. “Only by leaving them did I discover how much I loved them.” He now could say to his parents, “There must be a plan to all of this. It seems that we have to leave home to really appreciate it. We’re itching to leave, or to live our own lives, only to discover when we leave we’re still tied to home. But this doesn’t keep us from doing what we have to do.” In any event, David settled into his dorm the best he could. As he told his parents, he was to “make a few good contacts.” But even if he had made a few close friends rather than a few good contacts, it is debatable whether it would have made a difference, for David felt stifled by the megalopolis; most people new to the city have to find sanctuary somewhere. Even after David realized his dreams as a seaman, whenever he returned to LA, he still harbored the same negative feelings about the place and had to remind himself that it had more to do with him than the city itself.
Randy Ford
