Shimmy up that tree
A few weeks later, between shows when no one was paying attention, he was no doubt tempted and motivated to try something that he wanted to try for a very long time. He walked out to the third ring slowly, walking cautiously with a nervous smile, and when he reached the ladder, with both hands on a rung, he looked around. This was the real deal. As a young boy, he created a pretend circus in the rafters of his family’s garage. With slow careful movements, he started to climb.
It was on his grandfather’s farm, and his grandfather who gave Tom Hayes a quarter for shimmying up a tree. He didn’t know how he would do it. All he’d remember was that he did it and his entire family was there to witness it. He amazed himself, and he grinned when finally he reached the first limb. He kept the quarter in his pocket until he couldn’t stand it any longer in Forks.
It was quarter he wished he’d kept. He’d shimmied up a tree and would never forget it.
So Tom Hays’ father grew up on a farm and left the farm for the war not knowing if he’d come back alive, but with dreams of flying without ever getting close to an airplane. Eventually he built one and tried to fly it off the barn. He crashed, of course. In December of 1942, he wrote an affectionate letter to his parents, announcing the fact that he was engaged to a girl that he’d just met. They had one date and became engaged; his best friend dated her best friend and became engaged about the same time; and the four of them found their mates for life at the same time. The following May Tom was born.
I’m enjoying myself amazingly, but today…Oh, well! I feel like kicking myself in the seat of the pants. We’re talking about the flying trapeze; and I’ve been offered an opportunity to join the act. But have no fear…I’m realistic. We’re talking about flying…remember dad’s dream and what happened to him. Ah, you say, but it’s dangerous…could be if there wasn’t a net. Quite high for me.
Here was a blank that he didn’t want to fill, that rather embarrassed him, and really his successes over the last two months luckily weren’t marred and they satisfied him. Continuing after a little while with the letter, he skipped that part.
In the meantime, I’ve been thinking about the circus I had at home, and I’m not writing about the one we had inside the house. What went on in your room, and what went on between mom and dad, and I haven’t heard from either of them for while. I guess they’ve disowned me. I didn’t write that. This is Tom your brother, and don’t tell anyone, especially our parents, but I love the circus. I guess I always have.
So he was happier than he had ever been, except… except for The Flying Guillmos. The Flying Guillmos, at last, asked him if he wanted to fly and wooed him whenever they could, and he became suspicious when he saw the men of the act holding hands. The next few weeks were filled with apprehension. He didn’t tell them what happened when he tried to climb up to the pedestal board, but meanwhile Max gave him more and more responsibility. The Boss kept him busy and put him in charge of a small crew whenever something required one, and, although Tom tried to ignore it, seeing Antonio and Pepe hold hands bothered him.
The Flying Guillmos came from The Philippines, and if Tom had known about Philippine customs he wouldn’t have reacted the way he did whenever he watched the stars walk by. He distilled what he saw based on his own experiences. And, now it became a problem for him and how he felt about Homo’s, and before he went to Baylor he would’ve called them fags. He hated the thought of being touched by fags, and that the catcher for the Guillmos was undoubtedly homosexual made him shudder. But now it was out of his hands, and he began to feel better when he quickly and dramatically discovered that he was afraid of heights. But of course he was wrong about the Guillmos and homosexuals, but it would be a long time before he found that out. Some people might’ve been offended when the word fag still slipped out of his mouth, but how could he fix everything all at once. He comforted himself by turning the Guillmos down and liked to think that their perceived sexual preference didn’t matter, and that perhaps he could keep his feelings secret.
Randy Ford
