NO ONE HAS TO WORRY
by Michael Kuhr
Worrying does not help solve problems. One way to describe worrying is by comparing it to a martial arts lesson. If someone goes to punch you in the face and you blink, you get punched in the face. However, if you keep your eyes open you can block the punch or dodge the punch. Worrying is like blinking . . . you miss something very important. You can learn to avoid worrying. When you feel yourself beginning to worry about something, simply say, “I am not going to worry about it.” If necessary, think the same words in your mind. It’s easy and it works. When you worry, it bothers the people around you; and it increases your own anxiety.
Problem solving is productive. It’s important to realize when we start worrying. Then we can shift into problem solving gear. For example, the oranges on your tree are ripe. Freezing weather is forecast for the next few days . . . you could sit in front of the television watching the weather report, hoping for warmer weather. This is a good example of useless worrying. Hopefully, this evolves into real problem solving. List options:
Option one: pick the oranges if in reach.
Option two: use a ladder
Option three: buy a long tool
Option four: the oranges were not in reach.
Option five: the ladder didn’t fit past the branches
Option six: the long tool worked, the oranges were sweet.
Think of the term “Yankee Ingenuity”. It refers to people’s creative ability to solve problems. For example: you can’t find your cell phone. You go worrying from room to room 5 times . . . no luck! It’s driving you nuts! So you ask your neighbor to call you. Your cell phone rings between the couch cushions. Problem solved. You found your cell phone!
It’s helpful to differentiate between worrying and problem solving:
Problem solving is focused and productive.
No one has to worry. It’s better to problem solve.
Worrying is unproductive and a waste of time.
One of my family members said she was worrying about an interpersonal conflict, so she said, “I’m not going to worry about it,” and like magic the worry disappeared.
No one has to worry.
Michael Kuhr, Author, firstname.lastname@example.org